Advice on Valentine’s Day

Dear Future Stella,

Today is Valentine’s Day and you were pretty excited about it. It’s not surprising, what with the pink and the hearts and the candy- it’s a little girl’s dream! You made valentines for your classmates. Correction, some factory somewhere made the valentines, you just scribbled your name on them. You wore an explosion of all things girly that just exuded love and happiness. Your father and I were out of our comfort zone as V-Day isn’t really something we typically go nuts over but you were so into it that we had no choice but to play along.

I can pretty much know if I will be good friends with someone based on how they feel about Valentines Day. I’m passing on this wisdom so that when you are interviewing for potential friends you can add this to the many questions you should be asking. People who hate Valentines Day due to it being a Hallmark holiday are red flags. Nobody should care enough about this day to start spewing out conspiracy theories. Give them a pass if they just had their heart broken though, broken hearts definitely lead to conspiracy theories. End the friend interview right away if they say shit like “Everyday should be Valentine’s Day.” Before you write them off, ask them to clarify because if you have been dating less than a year then I think everyday should be Valentine’s Day. However, if it’s been longer than a year then this is absolute horse shit. Every day is NOT Valentine’s Day. Some days you should want to kill your valentine. Some days you will want to ignore your valentine. Most days you won’t appreciate your valentine. Occasionally your valentine and you will have days that are so horrific that celebrating each other will be so low on the priority list that you might forget to say I love you. Every single day though, you should want no other valentine. In general, Valentine’s Day should be viewed as a harmless holiday that children and new lovers obsess over and everyone else should just sort of go with it. Meaning, if you are alone or married for 20 years, this day shouldn’t define you or your relationship. I do think it’s a little bizarre when people in relationships choose to totally neglect it. No judgement, but why not acknowledge your special person, even if it’s just verbal on V-Day? It seems one would have to try really hard to avoid saying or doing something nice to their partner on Feb. 14th. Just saying…

Here’s how your father and I celebrated today. I worked all day and your dad cleaned the whole house and had to deal with you, which, lets be honest, is less than romantic. We drank champagne and together we made a family dinner of chicken with maple glazed carrots and mashed potatoes that you attempted to help with. We exchanged humorous cards and your dad got me roses (he said it was your idea- thanks!). We ended the meal with cupcakes. We put you to bed and then cranked up the R&B music. We made love in every single room of the house, even yours. You were such a sound sleeper. Relax, we didn’t go in your room. We did use your play kitchen as a prop of sorts. Lol, kidding, but now would be a good time to watch that video we made you….In all seriousness, your dad is my long time Valentine and he makes me stupidly happy. He’s a great man and a fantastic father. You and I, we are lucky that we have him in our lives. He puts up with so much of our shit and has the ability to make us laugh so hard. He’s also crazy nice and supportive and would do just about anything for us, sexually speaking on my part, and for you he will play any Barbie game that you ask him to.

Do you have a Valentine? Do I know him? OMG, who is he? Wait, are you married? These are the things I think about when thinking of you in 20 years. The suspense is killing me but the current moment is so overwhelmingly sweet that I don’t want to rush it. I will just have to wait and see.

Future Stella, I love you. Current Stella, will you be my valentine?











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