Current Stella Friends

Dear Future Stella,

Lets play a game where I show you pictures of your friends from when you were four or less and then you stalk them on whatever social media platform is popular in 2024. Its going to be so much fun. Some of these people you better still be friends with or at least half-ass follow them on above mentioned social media. Current Stella is such an awesome friend and she has already had some boyfriends and some romantic encounters.

Your first friends were picked by me because you were only three weeks old. I met a group of five other moms who all had given birth to their first children around the same time you came barreling into this world. They all lived in walking distance from us and shockingly, I really liked these ladies! We would meet up once a week, rotating from house to house, sometimes we would drink coffee, other times it was champagne. We all shared all of our nightmare stories about no sleep and bleeding nipples and you babies all went through your first milestones together, not exactly at the same time but you all got there eventually. We still see these families around once a year, but sadly we are the only family left in San Francisco and those moms went on to have more children (I know, some people are really crazy Future Stella). One of the boys in this group became your first boyfriend (at the age of two) and you guys even shared a babysitter for awhile.

Notice you are the only baby freaking the fuck out






Here you are with your first boyfriend, Nicholas. I have this creepy fantasy of you finding him on the latest dating technology and rekindling things. Pretty please? Just try it. You cannot ignore the insane amount of chemistry you guys have.







Your first friend that you met at Marina Tots was named Kate. You guys also attended Calvary together. This is an example of a friendship where you seemed way more into her then she was into you. I hope that you have figured that out by now and only have friends who love you equally back. Not that Kate was a bad friend, you guys were just tiny kids, but you weren’t really picking up on her “Im just not that into you vibes”



When Nicholas moved away, you started to invest more interest in a little boy named Ryo, and he soon became your next boyfiend. Nicholas was sweet and romantic, Ryo was more of the cool hipster bad boy that played hard to get. You guys would have had super cute children. Im pretty good friends with his mom so maybe you guys stayed close and the thought of making babies with him is nasty. If you guys have lost touch definitely look him up too.





Just look at this passionate relationship so far? He took you for a ride on his tractor, then you got all pissed at him in the pool (probably for checking out another tot in her two piece) then you tried to make up to him in the tent thing but by the evidence on his face he was more interested in his ice cream. Finally, you two rekindle the flame in the outdoor hot tub. You guys have done more romantic things than your father and me. Like I said, look him up. Just saying’

You have had 3 pretty close friends that you met at your current preschool. Their names are Sophina, Audrey and Tyler. Audrey’s mommy is like my spirit animal and I adore her so much. She has an actual legit blog that tells you useful information. Tyler is the sweetest thing on the planet and I bet you remain friends with her because you guys are both going on to the same school.





Finally, you have the friends that I force you to hang out with because their mom’s are my best friends from my own childhood. You get to vacation with them and Current Stella loves to stalk them on Instagram. They are both boys and quite a bit younger but because their Mamas are like sisters to me I have a feeling you will always keep tabs on them. Their names are Mason and Felix.





At your preschool their philosophy is to be a kind and caring friend. I love this so much because I don’t care if you know your numbers or can write your name but you better sure as shit be a nice human who can make connections with people and do selfless acts of kindness in the name of friendship. Thus far, you have proved to be a much nicer friend than me and so Im fairly confident that this won’t be your issue and that makes me smile so big right now thinking about it.

Current Stella is a phenomenal friend. She plans her playdates days in advance. She obsesses over having snacks available that she knows her friends like. She takes out activities that she thinks they will find amusing,even if they are things she doesn’t really like herself. She will wear her playdate’s favorite color on that day to make them happy. She talks about the upcoming playdate ad nauseam. Now that I think about it, maybe this behavior has nothing to do with good friendship, but just indicates an early interest in the profession of party planning? Oh. My. Effing. G!!! Throw me a party for my birthday!!! I have never had a surprise party but I totally have always wanted one. You are the best Future Child anyone could ever ask for.

Future Stella, I love you. Current Stella, you have told me multiple times that I am your best friend. I know all kids say that to their moms, but I still think its really cool. BFF’s for Life!!!