Dear Future Stella,
I had to fly home last night so that I could work today. I wish I could say it was difficult to leave you when you were so sick, but the truth is, I was relieved to be in a germ free zone. Before you go thinking I am harsh and cruel, hear me out. Whenever I was sick as a kid, usually with a 3 day long migraine, my parents would always tell me that they would take the pain from me if they could. I always thought that was such bullshit and there was no way they were serious. Let me tell you kiddo, they were dead serious. I would have done anything to take your fever the last couple of days so that you could have had fun at Disneyland. When people say they hurt when their kids hurt they actually mean it, as lame as that sounds. However, the rational part of my brain knew that I couldn’t just pull a Freaky Friday move and switch places with you so I was okay with going home to work. *Please watch Freaky Friday with Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan if you have not. Its pretty great.
I have always loved to work. I got my first job when I was 15 with a worker’s permit. It was a job working the register at Burger King (a fast food restaurant in case this place exists no longer. Crossing my fingers that it doesn’t). A year later I transitioned to a new job working at the front desk of a gym, where I met your father. More on that another day. Two years later, I moved to Burlingame California with your dad to attend beauty school. I got a job within a few days working at a retail store that sold jeans. On my first employable day as a cosmetologist I was hired as an assistant at the same hair salon that I work at now. That means that in 16 years (half my life) I have never had a lapse in employment. Not even a whole week without being on someone’s payroll. I love the feeling so much of earning money and I am incredibly proud of the fact that I have a job that I enjoy and that I find fulfilling. The longest time I have ever been off of work was when I had you and I went on maternity leave. When you were 11 weeks old I couldn’t wait to go back to my job, mainly because you were a lot of work, and I love to work, but not that hard!
I wonder what you will do for work? Notice how I didn’t include an option to not work? You better work. I don’t care if you don’t get paid (unless of course you are living a lifestyle that would require you to) but you have to do something, at least for a little bit. When you ask Current Stella what she wants to be when she grows up she says a waitress, a doctor and an artist. So maybe you will wait tables while putting yourself through Med School? I, for sure, won’t be paying for that so make sure you pick a fancy restaurant with great tips because Med School is stupid expensive. Then maybe as soon as you finish your residency you will decide that being a doctor really sucks and you will go to art school? The possibilities are endless and it is way too soon to know but its really fun for me to think about. Considering you are in your 20’s you are most likely trying to figure out what career, if any, you should pursue. To help you, I have included a list of Current Stella’s strengths and skills so maybe it will help inspire you. I always think its funny when the parents of successful adults are asked what they were like when they were a child and every time they find some memory or story to prove their kid had natural, God given talent. I am calling bullshit on that.
Here are Current Stella’s strengths/gifts
*Sense of smell. You have the nose of a pregnant woman.
*Ability to keep tight inventory of anything, specifically Magic Clip Princess dresses and Barbie shoes (this could come in handy being the manager of a grocery store or herding sheep)
*Photographic memory, especially brand recognition.
*Long term attention span. Like longer than mine.
*Compassion and empathy (if you don’t end up doing charity work of some kind I will be so so shocked)
*Above average swimming (please, please don’t pick this one for a job. Water jobs are scary and so are adult female swimmer bodies)
*You are a people pleaser (just don’t use this strength to be a hooker. Pretty please. Unless you can guarantee it will turn out like Pretty Woman. *ugh, watch Pretty Woman ASAP)
*Ability to go with the flow.
*Confirming things. Example: We are on the bus, you pull out my tweezers from my bag and say, loudly, “You use these to pull out hairs on your chin, right Mommy?” You already knew that they did, you just either wanted to embarrass me or you were just double checking. Double checking something you already completely know the answer to is what, I believe, makes someone a great supervisor.
*Coloring. In general you love coloring on anything but your specialty is restaurant kid menus.
*Freaky memory. I can walk into your room, rummage to the bottom of any basket, pull out the most random small insignificant thing and you can promptly give me an oral report about the toy’s origin, its use, and any other forgettable fact pertaining to said thing.
*Self entertainment. You are completely content hanging by yourself and creating your own sunshine.
*You love to dance like a free spirit on drugs at a music festival. You do this to songs on the radio, songs on the television, songs at restaurants, but my favorite is when you do this to songs on commercials. You get really spiritual and intense when the Stanley Steamer Carpet Cleaner theme song comes on.
*Observing people and silently judging them. I don’t have proof that you are doing this but I am pretty sure. If this trait continues to grow I think you would make an excellent pharmacist.
Future Stella, I love you. Current Stella, I did a lot of internet research and based on your current skills, the internet says you would excel at spray painting cars in an auto repair shop, long distance truck driving, making and selling your own pottery, and assessing correctness of business tax returns. I think its time you get a job.