How Babies Are Made

Dear Future Stella,

I am sure you know how babies are made by now and I really hope I had nothing to do with you figuring that out- that is what school and friends are for. However, tonight the topic came up with Current Stella and I thought you would find it funny. 

We went out to dinner at the Indian place by my work (Current Stella loves it). She basically ate 3 whole orders of naan. I teased her and told her that she looked pregnant. She laughed and said her tummy was just full of naan and that it wasn’t a baby. I asked her if she knew how a woman gets pregnant. She said yes and went on to describe how when a mommy is 15 or 12 years old she goes to the doctor and then the beautiful  baby comes out. I said, “right, but how does the baby get in the tummy?” Current Stella was appalled by my ignorance and said that the mommy finds one on the street and eats it. Then the baby grows in the stomach and then the doctor takes it out.  Duh. 

I clearly told her that she was totally right. She then asked if I was still 15 years old and I said yes. She seemed satisfied with these answers.

Later, we saw a baby in a stroller on the street and I asked Current Stella if I should eat it so she could have a sibling. She said, “No! That’s someone else’s baby! You need to find one that is this big,” (and then shows me with her fingers a size that is roughly 3 inches). She went on to say that this 3 inch baby can’t already have a mom. I have to find it by itself lying on the street. So fucked up, Current Stella. I have to find a 12 week old fetus just chilling on the sidewalk? Then eat it? No wonder you don’t have a sibling! 

Future Stella, I love you. Current Stella, you have absolutely no idea how babies are made BUT your coat game has been so strong lately! Here are a couple of pictures of you wearing the most adorable jackets known to man! 





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