Little Pink Houses For You and Me and Whoever Else Wants One

Dear Future Stella,

Does it bum you out that I didn’t save a lot of stuff from your childhood? In the beginning, I would get rid of an item the day Current Stella stopped playing with it, or the moment a piece of clothing no longer fit her because I really didn’t want to be tempted to have another kid. I figured the more stuff I got rid of, the more overwhelming it would be to start from scratch again. Plus, our apartment is so small that I have learned to live like a minimalist. I am sure there are going to be things I regret giving away (your birth certificate maybe) but mostly it feels so good to purge this stuff. Current Stella is a hoarder so I have to do this when she is not around. She would save just about everything and she often retrieves things from the trash and is deeply offended that I would want to get rid of it, especially when it comes to her art. Current Stella is an art-producing machine. Every day she makes like 50 new drawings. She wants to save them all, but frankly, they all look the same and they are not even that good. Here are some examples of pictures Current Stella draws on the daily.

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I can’t save thousands of drawings of a girl with a triangle body standing in front of a pink house. I just cant. Hope you understand. I actually hope that Current Stella’s body image improves. She doesn’t look like a triangle.

This past week your Dad left us home alone again and besides accidentally keeping the oven on all night, nothing really terrible happened. Did you know that last weekend when your Dad went to that bachelor party it was the first time I have ever been alone with Current Stella overnight since she was born? Crazy, right? This weekend he went to a golf tournament that your Grandma and Papa put together each year. This is the first time in Current Stella’s life that she didn’t go. One night we both went to bed at 7pm and it was glorious.

Despite a few fun moments, most of the week Current Stella was a whiny little brat. She would cry over the dumbest possible things and apparently forgot how to listen. G-ta and Guncle came to town for a couple of nights and that was a needed distraction from how irritating Current Stella was acting. G-ta and Guncle are like Stella groupies. They drove all the way down here from Oregon to watch her in a soccer game because apparently they enjoy making me feel inadequate. Just kidding. They came down here for Oktoberfest (in September) and your game was just conveniently located next to where they were staying so they went (still super nice and completely unnecessary given the current athletic ability of Current Stella). You owe them big time for the amount of time they have put into being around you. To some people their obsession with such a cute little girl would be a red flag. Thankfully, I can say with 99% accuracy that neither of them are pedophiles, at least not with girls. What a bummer for Current Stella if I was wrong on that- actually, more of a bummer for you, Future Stella. Hope I did my math right on that percentage calculation and you are not a recovering victim. This is getting weird, even for me. Trust me- they are good people.

One of the fun things that happened this week was Current Stella had a playdate with a new friend from Kindergarten. I really like this little girl. Future Stella, if for some reason you messed this up along the way and you guys are enemies or whatever, I will be so pissed. Mainly because I like her mom a lot and that never happens. Current Stella’s new friend is named Harper.





Tonight your Dad checked on Current Stella when he got home from work. She was in bed for an hour by the time he got home. Here is what he found.


For the record, she can’t read yet.

Future Stella, I love you. Current Stella, you start every single sentence these days with “Mama,…..” when talking to me. It might be the most annoying thing that has ever existed. An example would be, “Mama, can I have my vitamin now? Mama, I want a red one. Mama, can I pick which red one? Mama, does everyone eat a vitamin? Mama, I like vitamins.” The way you say it is like maw-ma. It’s the worst. Please stop.



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