Reason #875 You Don’t Have a Sibling

Dear Future Stella,

I have no idea how you are going to end up feeling about not having a brother or a sister but I will do my best in these letters to convey why I chose not to have another child- one reason at a time. 

Today’s reason is because I wouldn’t be able to keep track of two. Now that we have 2 dogs, I’m always losing one (usually the older one). This morning I brought both dogs out back with me and when I came back inside I only had the puppy. It didn’t occur to me that Phyllis was missing for quite some time. When I finally realized, i opened the back door and there was Phyllis- giving me this look like “Seriously? WTF?” You would be Phyllis in this example, most likely, so it’s for your safety that I don’t have another child. I would have left you at the store or Disneyland by now. 

This isn’t like a one example kind of thing. I have forgotten about Phyllis numerous times since we have had Gail. And it’s not just with the dogs- it’s other things too. The other day I brought my usual purse with me to a friend’s house and I had another bag with me. Hours after I returned home, I realized I just had the other (newer) bag with me and I had left my purse (filled with all my important stuff) at my friend’s house. 

Oh, and if you are thinking, so what? Maybe you get to the next aisle over at the store and realize I’m still checking out the fruit snacks? Big deal. WRONG. Here is exactly how this would go down. I would check out at the grocery store, load the car, put your baby sibling in her car seat and drive home. I would unload the car, put the groceries away, turn on some music, pour myself a glass of wine and start making dinner. Maybe around now your baby sibling would start crying and I would shout for you to come deal with him/her. The baby’s cries would escalate and I would begin shouting for you louder saying something like “Stella, I had that child for YOU so please make it stop crying…..STELLA!!!!…….Stella?”

This is when it would occur to me that you were still at the grocery store. Not wanting to move the car again, I would call your dad and make him go get you.

See. I can’t have another kid. 

Future Stella, I love you. Current Stella you are such a fantastic big sister to your doggies. This morning you blocked Gail while Phyllis ate her breakfast. You can’t stand the injustice of Gail eating her food and then taking Phyllis’ too. 

Love,

Mom

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