Spring Break Day 1

Dear Future Stella,

Do you have any memories of your Spring Break in 2015 when you were 4? I bet you do! I will provide a recap right now to hopefully ignite your memory.

First, I want to tell you about the funny conversation Current Stella had with your dad on the car ride to the train station.

Current Stella- I’m bored

Dad- I’m Casey nice to meet you (he actually turned around while driving and extended his hand to you)

Current Stella- No, IM bored

Dad- IM Casey

Current Stella- No. No. I’m not saying that you are bored- I’m saying that I’m bored

Dad- I know and I’m telling you that I’m Casey, that’s Phyllis, this is Shelby, and the dog on your lap is Gail.

Current Stella- Daddy. No. I’m bored. Stop telling me your name

Dad- Ok well stop telling me your name is bored. We named you Stella and we like that name better.

Current Stella- Daddy I’m not saying that my name is bored. Bored means that you don’t have anything to do. I’m trying to say that I don’t have anything to do. 

A few minutes later your dad announced that he smelled food. I agreed but thought that it smelled like dog food more specifically. He told me that was impossible because all the dog food was in our trunk. We moved on to singing along to the music and mutually day dreaming about how fantastic this trip was going to be. A good 15 minutes later I turned around in the car and saw this.


Cool Bitch, thanks for puking all over the car. I wonder which dog is the culprit? We didn’t even hear anything and apparently Current Stella didn’t see anything despite her sitting right next to it. It was obviously Phyllis- just the look she is giving me is a dead give away. Plus, Gail is too perfect to behave that way. 

We pulled over and I made your dad clean it up while I checked out what’s new in the snack world inside the gas station store. I hope jalapeƱo and cheese filled pretzels still exist for you as well as butterscotch krumpets that say “fresh baked” on the plastic sealed wrapper but that have a shelf life of at least 10 years. 

 We eventually made it to the train station with at least 3 minutes to spare and we boarded the train along with both sets of your grandparents. 6 adults to 1 child is the only acceptable ratio when traveling. This number ensures that I can peacefully drink my wine while 5 other people take turns retrieving all the things that you will inevitably drop throughout the duration of the 2 hour train ride. Little kids are built like slip-n-slides, every single crayon and raisin shoots down their limbs and on to the ground. Whoever invented children should have made their bodies out of velcro or possibly a magnetic surface of some sort. That would have been genius.

Here we all are on the train



Notice you butchered the only photo we let you be in. Thanks a lot. That was going to be our Christmas card.


Future Stella, you are so damn lucky that both sides of your family get along so well that they travel together. Your grandparents are delightful people who obsess over you in a way I find disturbing. I hope you have appreciated this over the years. Call them right now and express this to them if you have not already. I’m serious- do it right now young lady or I will march over to your house (you better not still be living with me) and I will embarass you infront of your roommates (you better not be living with a partner). 

Our hotel that we are staying at is pretty awesome and modern (by 2015 standards so don’t laugh)



The lobby has these really big versions of children’s games that you have been playing with your dad. If you still play connect 4 with him the journey began right here at this hotel.


Today my sister  arrives with her 2 kids (your cousins) and this is going to significantly affect the proper adult to child ratio so I’m a little nervous. I might actually have to start dealing with you :)

Future Stella, I love you. Current Stella, you are sleeping directly above your dad and me on this trip. I hope you are a heavy sleeper otherwise the memories you might have of this vacation will be a little haunting.



8 thoughts on “Spring Break Day 1

  1. I literally laughed out loud (and I know the correct use of the word, “literally”) several times. First was the dog vomit in the car (been there, done that) next was the proper adult to child ratio (you are very wise for a first time parent) and finally for your closing remark about current Stella’s memories regarding sleeping arrangements. Have another glass of wine and enjoy spring break!

    1. Hehe. Glad I made you LLOL. Dog barf is disgusting. The ratio is key and im glad you agree. The sleeping arrangments are wishful thinking :)

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