The Moment I Realized Your Dad Will Never Pull a Bruce Jenner

Dear Future Stella,

The title probably sounds confusing because Bruce Jenner most likely doesn’t mean to you what he means to me. Just google it (or however people get instant information in 2025) because I don’t have the time, nor the facts to fully catch you up to speed but basically a few nights ago he told the world, via Diane Sawyer on 20/20, that he was transitioning from male to female. He always had feelings that his soul was of a woman’s even though he was born in a man’s body. A very strong, muscular man looking body. He was married 3 times and had 6 biological kids and 4 step kids. He finally had the courage to make the transition at 65. 

Your dad has a very strong, muscular body as well. Your dad is also pretty fem. He does laundry, he cooks, he decorates, he likes to go shopping, and he enjoys it a little too much when you pretend to curl his hair and put makeup on him. He bakes the best cookies. He can tell if I’m wearing a new shirt. He has several pink articles of clothing. I realize that I’m being very sexist and I understand that men and can like girl things and vise versa without their being any question about a persons gender or sexual identity. I get that. I’m just merely pointing out that IF your dad did come forward and say he wants to be a woman I can’t exactly say this would blindside me. That is until a few nights ago when Current Stella and your dad had the following interaction. I’m in the other room doing my makeup.

Current Stella-

Daddy, can you fix my Barbie? Her arm came off again.


Sure, Sweetie.

*he takes the Barbie and begins to operate on the arm. Very delicately he snaps the arm back into the joint and then says,

This isn’t the first time this Barbie has had an arm come off when you were changing her clothes. I think this one should just stay in one outfit and not switch it so the arm stays in place.


Several moments pass while myself and Current Stella weigh the insanity of the proposal your dad just made. Um? Never change her outfit? Like, ever again? Just keep her in the same tired faux leather dress forever? What if she is going to the beach? Just keep her in that skank dress? Ok, that makes no sense. Literally the only point of Barbies is so that you can change their clothes and make them have sex all over the dream house with multiple partners on multiple surfaces in multiple outfits. That’s it. Every single real girl knows this. At least every soul of every girl knows this. I was overwhelmed with injustice for Current Stella in conjunction with relief for myself that I can now guarantee that your Dad will never sit down and tell us he is going to transition into a woman. 

Current Stella-

but no, Daddy.

*almost in tears (rightfully so),

I have to change her outfit all the time. It’s ok if she only has one arm.


I couldn’t have said it better myself. If I had to chose between one outfit or one arm for the rest of my life I would pick the amputee situation with an overflowing closet. That Barbie deserves this same basic right. 

Here are some photos of you playing with Barbies


Here is your dad doing chick stuff
Picking fruit wearing a pink shirt
Drinking champagne wearing a pink shirt
Being obsessed with Disney princesses

Future Stella, I love you. Current Stella, you had your very first sleepover this weekend. Im going to tell you more about that in my next post.



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