The Time I Had to Submit a Photo of You to a Potential Kindergarten

Dear Future Stella,

Today one of the schools we are applying to for next year called me and asked me to email her a photo of you, preferably just of your face. Oh goodie, I am so relieved their decision is going to come down to looks. For a minute there, I thought we were going to be judged on our characters, morality and our uniqueness. We would have been screwed! However, if its a cute girl with a pretty face they want, then you have this in the bag sweetie. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Not that anyone would, you are told you are beautiful like 100 times a week. 

I started flipping through my photos of you on my phone to pick the very best one and I soon realized that I could totally screw you if I wanted to.  For instance, I can’t imagine the school would be excited if I sent them this photo

Nevermind  that you were just showing me a cut on your finger, I wouldn’t share that detail with them. No, instead I would include a caption that apologized for the lewd gesture and say that lately it’s been hard to capture a photo without you doing this to the camera. Hopefully at school she can refrain….

Or I could have sent them this one.

Personally, the most offensive thing about this picture is your chipped nail polish. Have I not taught you anything? Don’t tell me you also forgot the names of all the Kardashians too. This next photo is a real gem.

I would go with no caption with this one, you know, for maximum impact.

Ah, and then there is this next one 

Although this is clearly a photo of you on Halloween, I would make it abundantly clear that this is an every day occurrence. I would take this time to mention that we take the concept of a “pack family” very seriously.

It would be quite rewarding to send this photo. 

This is a great way to express our excitement for the potential opportunity to get you in a uniform.

In reality, here were the two photos I was considering sending

Readers, which do you think I should send? 

Future Stella, I love you. Current Stella, you are NOT just a pretty face. You are the nicest, sweetest girl on the planet and any school would be thrilled to have you. 



10 thoughts on “The Time I Had to Submit a Photo of You to a Potential Kindergarten

  1. Which should you send? The one where she’s flipping the photographer the bird, definitely. If it was up to me, I’d accept her on the spot. Which is probably one reason it’s not up to me.

  2. If the school wants a photo “preferably” just of her face, how about this one: :)
    Otherwise, I vote for the last of the two suitable ones….though either is a sure winner, or my name isn’t mistermuse.

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