This Won’t Be The Last Time You Will Be Told You’re Too Young

Dear Future Stella,

We received all the letters today from the schools we applied to for next year. It was mostly unanimous that the schools felt you would benefit from an extra year of preschool and that you should try again next year and enter Kindergarten as a 6 year old. This might seem to some as bad news but it’s really not.

I didn’t really try to get pregnant with you, it just sort of happened. Your dad and I loosely talked about it in the way one might say, “I would love to go to Italy one day.” The idea of being parents sounded fabulous, but neither one of us had a “ticking clock” so to speak. Don’t get me wrong, I know how babies are made and what precautions one would need to take to prevent it. I guess I was just blasé about the whole thing, so when I peed on a stick on Halloween (dressed as a flamingo) and found out I was pregnant, I was definitely surprised. It felt like such bad timing for so many reasons- I was still building a clientele at my salon and maternity leave would for sure kill that. We hadn’t been to Italy yet. We didn’t own our home. I had this thing coming up in a few weeks that I was excited to be drunk at. The irony of all of that was none of those things mattered at all in the grand scheme of things. The one “timing” issue I should have been freaking out about was the fact that you were going to be a summer birthday. Getting into private schools in San Francisco with a summer birthday is like trying to make a right hand turn from the far left lane. It’s not impossible, but if the other cars in your way don’t drive a specfic exact way, then there is a high chance you will have to circle the block and try again later. 

With a summer birthday you were either going to be the youngest in your class or the oldest. The cutoff is Aug. 1 and your birthday is July 19th, meaning you make the cut off by 12 days. Just because you make the cut off doesn’t mean you will be admitted, the schools evaluate you to see if you are ready, both individually and in a group. After that, other considerations are taken into account. They start building a classroom based on their automatically accepted children (mainly siblings of current students, legacies and other “shoe-in” candidates). After that they try to create balance and diversity. They don’t want too many of any one thing in each class. So, some years they might need a young summer birthday girl with a bad ass personality, blonde hair and delicious green eyes, other years (like this one apparently) they have already met that quota with the “shoe-ins.” At that point the schools have 3 options. They could tell us 

“no” (bad)

“Waitlist” (only slightly better but given your obvious niche of a summer birthday it’s unlikely you would ever get off said list) 

“too young” (which generally means we really like you but please wait until next year when you won’t be such a strange commodity that we can only have 1 of in each class). 

You got mostly “too young” letters which is an open and welcome invitation to try again next year. You did, though, get 2 Waitlist letters. The first one is from a sweet school that we liked but not enough to pursue and never know what the other schools might have said next year. The second was actually one of our top choices for you. This school has a later cut off than the rest of the schools which sort of explains why you didn’t get “too young” from them. We like this school enough to remain on the Waitlist and see what happens.

So at this point two things will happen. The most likely is that you will do the TK program at your current preschool. Take the year to mature, learn some more shit and then apply again next year to all the schools that said you were too young. The second, is that somehow, someway,  you will get off the Waitlist at a wonderful school and start Kindergarten next year. 

Your dad and I will be thrilled either way. Mostly because you would thrive doing either one and everything happens for a reason. 

With that being said, its going to suck for you either way. If you are the youngest in your class then all of your friends will get to drive and buy cigarettes before you. Also, if the current literature is true, then you will never excel at sports or academics. If you are the oldest in your class, you will get boobs before everyone and get to drink at bars before your classmates but you will look the worst at your reunions. Good luck my Summer Birthday.

This morning I was a nervous wreck waiting to get the letters but you were twirling your way to the bus stop. It’s one of the many times you have inspired and grounded me. 





Future Stella, I love you. Current Stella, tonight you told me that you love night time because you love going to bed because it’s so cozy in your bed and that you want to sleep in all morning tomorrow. I felt so much love for you in this moment that it’s hard to actually describe. Please follow through. 

Love,

Mom

5 thoughts on “This Won’t Be The Last Time You Will Be Told You’re Too Young

  1. I love this post. I Went through and will be going through similar frustrations. Heck, the preschool I’m interested in applying to in austin won’t even return my calls.

  2. I swear I thought I had you followed (apparently WordPress thought otherwise). You are bookmarked and I visit almost daily because your posts are marvelous!

    1. Thank you so much! Yes even though my blog is through WordPress, I’m self hosted so I tend to not show up in people’s readers sometimes. I appreciate the kind words! Someone, do you have a blog?

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