Dear Future Stella,
I was going to wait and see what Current Stella will look like in 20 years but when I discovered the internet will just show me right now I decided to go that route. I had to painfully wait my whole pregnancy to find out what sex you were going to be so I pretty much don’t want to wait for anything else ever again. Today’s society makes it really easy to get whatever we want whenever we want.
Here you are in 20 years, which if this is correct, should feel like you are looking in a mirror. Hopefully you are not high or something when you read this entry because it might totally put you into some crazy alternate universe. If you do a lot of drugs, keep scrolling because this site let me see what you would look like in 20 years if you were a drug addict so maybe that photo will be more familiar to you.
I think we can both agree that they are both terrible. Before seeing these pictures I would have advocated hardcore for you to be drug free, but now that I know you only look slightly more hideous if you go that route- I say go for it. You only live once. I find it interesting that they predict you will have some sort of brow lift on one side of your face, both on and off drugs. What does the internet know that I do not? Car accident? Trendy new plastic surgery procedure? I guess it is true what they say, the cuter the kid, the uglier the adult. I mean sweetie, no offense, but at 24 you are looking old kiddo. I bet its all the sugar you eat.
Besides gaining about 10 pounds it appears the only change I am making in the next 2 decades is dying my eyebrows black and wearing dark lipstick only on my upper lip. Seems like an odd choice but clearly the internet knows future fashion and I don’t.
Of course he looks the fucking same. The only difference is the permanent wine mustache which, no offense Internet, I could have predicted that. Men are so damn lucky.
Then I saw a website that could tell me what my baby would look like. I uploaded a picture of myself and your dad and this is what they said our baby should look like
Its like, how did they know we were going to put you in corn rows? The internet is one smart cookie
I was also curious to see what the baby of your dad and his celebrity crush would look like. Her name is Emily Ratajkowski. It was such a relief that the baby was downright repulsive. I am sort of interested to know why their baby is destined to wear that stupid hat? They don’t give any information with these pictures so I can only assume their baby has one ugly head.
Dear Future Stella, I still love you even though you are ugly. Current Stella, I am going to tape these pictures to your wall and if that doesn’t motivate you to make some serious diet changes, girl I don’t know what will.
*I feel like I have to say this because the internet is full of some crazy people who cannot for the life of them detect sarcasm or humor. I am 100% not serious, if you have a bone to pick, talk to the websites that create these pictures. I will love my dear sweet Stella no matter what she looks like and I hate drugs.