You Have No #Selfie Control

Dear Future Stella,

Did you know that you are the same age as the selfie? Technically, someone used the word selfie in 2002 but it didn’t really become a thing until 2010. In 2012, Time Magazine considered “selfie” one of the “top 10 buzzwords” of the year. Current Stella is the master of the selfie and I often unexpectedly come across photos you take of yourself on my phone without my knowledge. Oh God, I should probably clarify. Today’s selfie refers to a photo that someone takes of themselves, typically the face and sometimes the body. I need to clarify because I’m worried the selfie of Future Stella’s time is like a close up of the inside of your labia or something disturbing like that. I, personally, am not a selfie person but I sure do love seeing all of yours. There are a lot of people who think selfies are arrogant and reserved for narcissistic people and the posting of these pictures actually promote woman as sex objects. Clearly, the people who feel that way have not seen my selfies. I am told selfies are supposed to be flattering, but I always look horrendous. There are others who find them empowering and think people should take selfies as a way of showing love for one’s self, and posting them publicly is proof of one’s self confidence. Then there are people like me who don’t have a strong opinion about them, I just know I personally don’t enjoy taking them or posting them. However, starting a few days ago, my camera on my iPhone has been taking really blurry photos. There seems to be some sort of film on the lens itself. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was your grimy little fingers that caused it, but the picture quality has been terrible lately. In any case, until I get it fixed, I can only take selfies, because they are the only ones that don’t turn out blurry. This inspired me to take a short trip down our selfie memory lane.

I located my first selfies I ever took on my phone, of course being 2010, your newborn cuteness were also in them with me. So your first selfie was also my first selfie. God we are cute.



Here are some of my favorite selfies you have left me on my phone

Here we are taking bus selfies, or technically, waiting for the bus selfies. You love doing this.

Tonight you asked if we could lay on the couch and eat animal crackers together. Sounds like my kind of Monday night. Or really any night. Lets promise to always lay on the couch and eat animal crackers together.

I wonder if selfies will still be a thing in 20 years? I wonder if you will continue to be a selfie person? Even if they are not a thing and you totally hate them, will you take one on my phone and leave it there for me to find? Ugh, I probably won’t have a phone and I bet our eyes will just be cameras. Figure out the modern day version of leaving a selfie on my phone and then do it please. Unless a modern day selfie is the labia thing I mentioned earlier then please, please don’t.

Future Stella, I love you. Current Stella, you said tonight that you don’t like the monkey shaped animal crackers. What the fuck? You swore they taste different.



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